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|Sunday, April 13th, 2008|
|yeah, I'm a gamer
My tribute to ELLA TUNDRA!! Current Mood: cheerful
Ella Tundra 's name was originally going to be Tundra, but on Pinnacle, where she started, that name was already taken. She-Tundra sounded too dumb. Since I was making a latina, I thought, "Hey, 'ella' is Spanish for 'she'!" And thus, Ella Tundra!
I'm a concept builder, usually only taking rp as far as how to say things. (Notice when I log in with Ella I say Hola, but not with others?) Ella was concept #3; Bantar is retired, and Dr. Curie remains on Pinnacle, pretty much retired, since I found upper-lvl Empathy boring and her name is taken here on Virtue. So, Ella is the first character I really liked who made it past the 20's. (A few others were made before her who were scrapped entirely.)
Trivia: Ella is supposed to be a kinda heavy woman, but we can't make overweight characters. :/
Below I have a list of some of Ella's badges(with % to next on some), a photo-shoot next to Statesman in all of my costumes, and her background text.
Even before studying magics, Ella had always felt close to nature. She would spend hours wandering forests completely alone, or spelunking, or running cross-country. Introduced to magics by a modern-day druid, Ella concentrated on the elemental spells. She is happy to contribute what she can to the safety of Paragon City. Also, she tries to maintain a social life--pity the villian who interrupts her night out.
Ella is no longer a rookie hero. She has patrolled Paragon City for years, keeping citizens free from the terros of Dr. Vahzilok's minions, the mages of Thorns, the street trash Warriors and Freaks, and the law-dodging Familiy. She has been associated with four supergroups--the NJC/Justifiers, Uncanny Squad, Heroes Gone Wild, and Commission Supers--and now fights along side The Order.
Mujeras verdaderas tienen curvas.
pupil, expert, inventor, apocalyptic, taskforces I-V, transcendent, transmogrified, negotiator, spelunker, spirit warrior, pwnz, mystic savior, corruptor, doctor's ally, frontline, emancipator, joyful, cold front, master artisan, tradeswoman(20%), sentry, chief, clothes horse, gifted, cold warrior, frozen futy, devilfish, ectoplasmic, hallow spirit, deadhead, pathfinder, adamant(75%), undieing(20%), entangled(33%), superstar(33%), kill skuls, infiltrator, mistress of olympus, unleasher, protectorate, silver bullet, slayer, soul binder, the solution, tracer, zookeeper, volunteer firefighter, dee jay, PARADIGM(my favorite), celbrant, stalwar medallioin, atlas medallion, merry maker, reveler, heart of light, ardent(39 monthes).
145 badges in all.
I joined COH in April(?) 2003. Took some time off to make sure I passed my second degree. Ella fought the forces of evil 590 hours before hitting lvl 50.
|Saturday, March 1st, 2008|
|a quiz, I haven't done one of those in a long time
- Available: Yes
- Age: early 30's, though I am constantly mistaken for mid-20's
- Annoyance: too numerous to mention, but most recent irritation is city-loyalty.
- Animals: what, that I own? none atm, though I suppose my horse Amigo
- Birthday/Birthplace: July 15, Chicago suburb
- Best Friends: Chris, Brian, John Drage, John Hodges
- Body Part on opposite sex: yes!
- Best feeling in the world: what I want it to be: The security and blessed-ness of feeling God working in my life; what actually motivates me most: making the woman I'm interested in smile.
- Blind or Deaf: no
- Best weather: 85degrees, low breeze, sun with light clouds. Bodies of water also at 80degrees.
- Been on stage?: long, long time ago
- Believe in yourself?: in anythign He has gifted me in, sure
- Believe in miracles: yes, but mostly the "little" ones, the ones that aren't so obvious and physical
- Believe in Magic: yes, actually, but that would require an explaination of what I think magic is.
- Believe in God: yes, the God of Jacob and Isreal...and me
- Believe in Satan: yes, though an attempt to explicity define it's nature is probably impossible in this life, and probably irrelavent
- Believe in Santa: ?? why would I?
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: yes
- Believe in Evolution: microevolution is fact, not an option.
- Car: Mazda Protege, '96
- Candy: mainly chocolate & peanut butter mixes
- Color: blue & black
- Cried in school: oh, in elementary a few times.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate
- Chinese/Mexican: assuming this is a food question, Chinese
- Cake or pie: cake
- Day or Night: day
- Dream vehicle: a sedan that never ages
- Danced: yes
- Dance in the rain? no
- Do the splits?: no
- Eggs: yes
- Eyes: brown
- Everyone has: been hurt and made mistakes
- Ever failed a class? no
- First crush: Jeanie Anthony, heh I was in frist grade, she was like 6th or 7th
- Full name: you either know it, or you don't
- First thoughts waking up: usually--ug, I gotta get up
- Food: Tool said it best: "Life feeds on life feeds on life...this is necessary"
-Greatest Fear: failure
-Giver or taker: giver
-Goals: live and grow
-Get along with your parents? yes, now I do
-Good luck charm: I don't have any, heh
-Eye color: working
-Hair Color: red > black > brunette > funky > blonde
-Clothing Style: i'm not big on preppy clothes, nor 'cowgirl'. Though both can be attractive on occasion
-Characteristics: appreciative, honest, a good balance btwn scientific and emotive
- Hair Color: dark brown
- Height: 5' 6.5ish
- Happy: pretty much
- Holiday: what, favorite? The ones I like the most are becoming more annoying since I have to travel a long way and I know that since I don't run a ranch an dI don't have any kids, I'll always be the one traveling.
- How do you want to die: satisfied
- Health freak? no
- Hate: racism, love of money, self-centeredness, idle time
- Ice Cream: Chocolate chip
- Instrument: I have no rhythm. Ask Chris or Tracy about my last Rock Star drumming performance. :D
-Jewelry: none now, but I'd like to get an industrial
-Job: computer programmer
- Kids: don't like others', but I want a family of my own
- Longest Car Ride: CoMo to Miami, 26 hrs in one stretch
- Love: God, my family, friends, doing things for other people
- Letter: J :D
- Laughed so hard you cried: oh yes, isn't that great?
-Love at first sight: not love, but interest, yes
- Milk flavor: skim thru 2%
- Movie: I really want to see Golden Compass and Juno
- Mooned anyone?: i think so
- Marriage: I hope so
- Motion sickness?: No
- McD's or BK: BK
- Number of Siblings: 1
- Number of Piercings: 0
- Number: 5 or 25
- One wish: to know peace
- One phobia: being in front of people but not in a speaking role
- Place you'd like to live: Austin maybe.
- Perfect Pizza: oh, pizzas are so good. how about chicken alfredo and tomatoe, or hawaaiian(sp?) pizza.
- Pepsi/Coke: coke if I had to
- Questionaires: They are a fun way to pass the time when you should be doing something more important
- Reason to cry: it's a good way to release stress, and it can envoke empathy in others
- Reality T.V.: i've started getting back into it, sorta unfortunately
- Roll your tongue in a circle? yes
- Song: oh, there are tons
- Shoe size: 8.5EE
- Salad Dressing: Ranch if any
- Sushi: yes
- Skipped school: yeah, sometimes
- Slept outside: yes
- Seen a dead body?: yes
- Smoked?: no
- Skinny dipped? no
- Shower daily? that's the plan
- Sing well?: no
- In the shower?: no
- Swear?: once in a while
- Stuffed Animals?: no
- Single/Group dates: single only, group dates are an odd concept to me
- Strawberries/Blueberries: blueberries
- Scientists need to invent: more effictient anything and everything. and nueral implants in games, heh.
- Sport: baseball, softball, wrestling
- Time for bed: should be 11ish, but usually 12 or shortly thereafter
- Thunderstorms: they're awesome
- TV: not much
- Touch your tongue to your nose: i can't
- Unpredictable: i think i'm fairly predictable.......ug, that sucks
- Vegetable you hate: onions
- Vegetable you love: tomatoes
- Vacation spot: Miami
- Weakness: no freaking discipline, jeesh!
- When I grow up: oh, did I miss that?
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: omg, what a scarey thought!
- Who makes you laugh the most: these days, Charlotte
- Worst feeling: waiting, failure
- Wanted to be a model?: no way!
- Where do we go when we die: i think "where" is really an inappropriate question
- Worst weather: drought(sp?)
-X-Rays: a couple
-Year it is now: 2008
-Yellow: is not a fave colour of mine
- Zoo animal: tortouises
- Zodiac sign: Cancer
|Thursday, February 21st, 2008|
Two Easters ago I was talking with my friend and pastor John Drage. He had said how excited he was about Judgment Day and he couldn’t wait. My response was that I could; the ways I serve God and work for His Kingdom can only be done in this life. Come that day, my chances to serve Him in that way will be gone. (I blogged about it, go read more if you want.) A few months ago, my opinion on that changed.
I became tired of being broken. Tired of failing Him. Discouraged by the fact that as long as I am here and therefore broken, I will fail Him again. It’s circularly-selfish: I want to serve Him; serving Him will make me happy(it has before,) so His will is #1 to me.
Today, I am driven to tears and prayer. It is not unsettling news, emotional disturbances that drives me there. But it is the fact that it does bother me. I don’t want it to. I am so tired of being influenced/controlled by imperfections—my imperfections, of others’, of how all this plays on my heart. All it does is usurp the One I want featured and centered in my life. I am tired again of the crap I have to deal with just for being human. This time, not because it keeps me from being happy, but because I don’t want my thoughts so dominated by other matters, especially painful ones(who wants that.) It wouldn’t have to be this way if I could be perfected; my friend Charlotte put it perfectly: even if/when God is not [my] top desire, [I] desire for Him to be my top desire, to displace those other concerns.
Thank you, my God, my Father; You are always with me. I think You have brought me to where I can say what I should, even if not with the strongest of conviction. I’ll send an email now.
|Wednesday, February 20th, 2008|
|Tuesday, January 8th, 2008|
|Huge EoY Update
Life - Been doing this financial class, and it has totally helped. Nothing ground-shaking, but very helpful to have a wholistic approach explained to me and tools to assist. I may cut 25% of my repayment time for my big school loans. A penny not paid as interest is a penny earned. I have 1 grand in emergency funds, and by beginning of 2009 3 of 4 debts will be paid off.
I still don't know enough people in Omaha, and in the winter I am at a loss as to what to do about it.
|Huge EoY Update
Spiritual - I should have doen a mid-year checkup, that's a long way back. I remember being very God-centered in June, praying and reading regularly, but then I got all wrapped up in girlfriend emotions, and I lost my center. It cost me. Spiritual setbacks are so...unfortunate. The road is hard and long, and for someone habitual like me it takes a while to even notice I'm not on the path. In fact, the need for me to develope new habits to focus on my walk w/Christ was a major reason I chose to be single when I first was saved; looks like I had good reason to be concerned cuz that's what I did. But anyway, been trying to not only maintain a daily focus on God, but trying to keep mindful all day long. Starting in October I've been trying to be more cognizant of serving God's kingdom, and investigating my skills and gifts. This year I need to do some evangilizing. My plan is to start with a friend who'll be 'gentle' on me, so I can handle a smaller fear-bump first. Besides, I'd like to see him come to Christ. I'd say he's the most empathic of my un-saved friends; meaning an emotional or personal arguement or evidence might carry more weight with him than others.
|Huge EoY Update
Gaming! - My Rolemaster group is down to 4(S.O. was #5) and still really good. I gotta get it together more often though, or it just won't meet its potential. The two experienced rp'ers and I are planning on starting a new game for us. We are gonig to play Shadowrun 3rd ed. My CoH game is going well, got in a new supergroup after I switched servers; they're a lot of fun. Stated a new character and seen a lot of the new low-end content. Haven't been onin a while, probably should tomorrow. (Addition: Did play a bit this weekend. Wasn't on long with Hot Plasma, my lvl 33 Blaster, before I got an invite to a TF I hadn't done before. Started off with a respawning AV and her posse--10 times, +1 lvl each time. All but 1 of us ate dirt on the last spawn. It was great.) If you can believe it, I started _another_ Morrowind character. Kinda battlemage-ish plus speechcraft. Took the extra magika plus weakness to magika aspect. Boy, I've never had such a hard time...it's great! I'm also rp-ing her(my only female Morrowind character, if you can believe it) very lawful, so I'm not taking from all the places you can get stuff, and most of the non-aggressive creatures I leave alone. She's been fairly poor, until I did my first daedric shrine and walked out with an ebony armour set. Now I can't advance in my main guild(Imperial Cult) because my skills are lacking...that's never happened to me before.
|Huge EoY Update
Work - Don't know what all I can and cannot say about work. My boss is happy with me; my midyear review was best out of any job I'd ever had before. People around me are skeptical about raises or bonuses or anything of the sort. Gotta be honest--UP non-union workers get the worst vacation-time package I have ever seen (not counting non-existant ones.) The MU libraries gave like 60% more in year 2, 120% in year one. But, I like my job, I'm somewhat skilled at it. Something new may be heading my way in 2008(w/in UP,) I don't know. As long as I'm working with good people and maintaining a sense of accomplishment, I'm fine with whatever.
Do you know what I do? Have I blogged it? The software that runs/interfaces/maintains/etc. the railroad industry is decades old(legacy software for those in the know.) Runs on big ole mainframes, doesn't use a database(rather flatfiles,) mostly written in an assembly macro-language(for BAL assembly on IBM 360/370) and 10% or so written in COBOL. UP is in the process of modernizing their system and that's a multi-million dollar, slow, tedious process. I am in a department of programmers responsible for troubleshooting and building improvements to the old software. So, I have a list of things people in the field think happened wrong, or improvement requests, or any problem I notice with performance.
That's my job. For me it means spending days understanding the what's and how's(practically-speaking, not code) and reproducing it, then I fix the code and (usually) take a day or so testing(cause I usually get it right....no, really.)
|Huge EoY Update
S.O. - I actually barely even blogged about it at the time (small reference in 4 Small Powerful Thoughts,) but I did have a gf in 2007. It was great, I made mistakes, she made mistakes, and the relationship hit that irrecoverable point. Not going to whine or moan, bitch or complain. I learned and moved on. The breakup hurt, of coarse, especially considering I was saving up for a ring, but I was not crushed for days or any of my usual drama. (Additional: Now she's dating someone new, so I get to get that emotional hurdle out of the way.)
|Friday, December 14th, 2007|
|Saturday, December 1st, 2007|
This is a fun puzzle I learned a long time ago. You take a paragraph and translate all the letters to the numbers on a phone. The exact translations have changed over the decades, because of cel phones and texting. Just to be sure we all have the same key, here's what my phone does:
1 next is # 2 a,b,c
3 d,e,f 4 g,h,i
5 j,k,l 6 m,n,o
7 p,q,r,s 8 t,u,v
9 w,x,y,z 0 spaces
Not always easy; a 5-letter word has at best 243 letter combinations, though many are obviously not words. Here's one, try it out!
|Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007|
|Love: Crazy or Reasonable
a friend of mine posted this on a site, but then either private-ed it removed it entirely, but I found it conversation worthy, so I’ve posted it here(anonymously) and added my thoughts.
“how can you tell if you really love someone, or if that someone just happens to be in the right place at the right time and just happens to fill some emotional void in your life? is there a difference? the hopeless romantic inside of me says, of course there's a difference. my pragmatic side, however, begs to differ.”
First, what characterizes love? I’m not going to go into a lengthy explanation, but I would throw out these words: concern, respect, attraction, devotion, interest, importance, affection, selflessness. The fuzzy feelings without respect etc. is just a crush, it won’t survive the long times. The reverse will take too much work to maintain because you won’t be excited to do be with him/her. It has to be both, the excited butterflies and the unwavering commitment.
To get back to a reply, is the emotional void a temporary thing or a more permanent part of one’s personality? If it is just temporary, than I would say clearly it is not love. But the more serious point is when it is more integral to your personality.
We are not perfect beings. We’ll have things we carry with us for many years, good or bad. We’ll lay some down, and pick up others. Our “emotional voids” are part of us. A Christian will seek God for all things, including their voids. But, still, none of us are perfect.
So, what if part of our attraction of our love is from the void they are filling? Does it still not serve that part of the equation. Will they still not make you want to be with them? Won’t your attraction for them be based on the interaction of some characteristic of yourself juxtaposed with one of theirs? Your imperfections can fit each other “perfectly”. Let me be careful with this, and point out that any kind of emotional imperfection can be just a quirk, or seriously dangerous. Love is hard to find, folks, in case you haven’t figured that out. If you can seriously find all of those kind of qualities in your relationship(or whatever your list looks like)—not a flash in the pan, not an exchange of back-scratching—shout it out. Praise God, and be faithful. (And only that last statement is a ‘current status’ kind of thing for me.) Current Mood: compasionate
|Monday, October 15th, 2007|
|Rock Retreat, Fall '07
I'm at the retreat, sitting down to write whatever, and come across this passage note I'd taken from a service: "Exo 6:28-30: Don't let own insecurities stop you from letting God in and control/move part of your life." It parallels nicely what God has been working on in my life in the last week. There are actually quite a few things, but a big one has been refusing to receive grace. In an important part of my life, I've been hard to get along with lately, because I take each of my mistakes and overreact about them. Why? Because I don't feel like I'm going to be forgiven. Not from others. I keep expecting to be punished for my failures. But it doesn't come. In part, I slowly learn to accept this gift; but I also become even more on edge, being a Shadowboxer
, and--doesn't his top it--stressing myself into another failure.
And of coarse, the root is not feeling worthy of forgiveness. Which we aren't, which is the amazing, paradoxical, and life-changing power of God's love for us. When you feel it, you'll know it, and never be the same.
I've found I have fears I didn't know about. I've found while I thought I had an understanding of dieing to myself in a relationship, my view of it was limited. While I did part of it really well(in fact too well for some people's taste) I lack at the others. For the first time, I have felt ready to be moved on. Tired of the weaknesses borne of this world that I have to carry. But that's probably just self-pitying whining.
I've decided I get too angry, too easily, and too often at particular things. Remember, faithful readers, the last "part 1" I wrote. Yeah, I decided I wasn't going to finish that one, cause all I was doing was bitching. But I am going to make a list, and post it right here. Anyone has my permission to call me on it, to check in with me and see how I'm doing. Like many things in my new life, when I listen to God's call on my heart for a change and put my heart and soul and prayer behind it, and focus on the way(s) it can make me a better tool for God, He grants me this amazing initial boost(see being afraid and getting out of my rut). And then I think He wants to see me walk to Him with the strength He's given me(ie: early partial success, then hard work.) I've already calmed down a lot in a few of these. inconsiderate/dangerous driving
other small, inconsiderate social behaviors (see prev blogs)
running late(due to others, esp.)
not being allowed to serve
others' shortcoming that I experience repeatedly
...oh, the list has to be longer than that...
(heh, trying not to be irritable cause I'm cold and wet.)
Oh, and 10 people got baptized. It was awesome! :) Current Mood: depressed
|Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007|
|Legislation and Religious Separation
an excerpt to an email to Daddy:
And here's a slightly related topic of discussion: Something that has occurred to me recently is this: *IF* we are going to be concerned with not having a religiously-biased government, then aren't we ignoring one of the largest faiths in the world--atheism? I remember the world almanac we had back in 1984, it had atheism as one of the top 3 world religions. Religion is about faith, and even atheism is a step of faith. So, considering this, isn't a library saying "Keep your god out of our building," just supporting the religion of atheism? Isn't the state then financially supporting a faith? Current Mood: content
|Friday, September 7th, 2007|
I'm looking over some code for a particular search function at work this afternoon. There is a possibilty the user will search the eennntiire railroad and get tons of responses. So there is this little check in there for too many answers, and if so the error message is something along the lines of, "Too many hits--reduce search criteria and reenter."
Reduce?? If you reduce searching criteria, wouldn't that mean using less of them? Wouldn't that increase the number of responses, not decrease them? Shouldn't the message say, "Too many hits--use more search criteria and reenter." Current Mood: content
|Monday, August 27th, 2007|
|a 5-yr-old's rant
Justin doesn't want to...
...hear your personal conversations at work.
...switch back and forth among 3+ projects throughout the day, it fragments my thinking like a stuffed hard drive.
...be stressed about whether I do things like everyone else or not. Current Mood: tired
|Saturday, August 11th, 2007|
|Putting Feet on the Path, 1
Today I'll be contemplating this:
Prov 21:3 "To do what is right and just is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice."
A lot of times I personally (or in conversation, but not usually outwardly) make a big deal out of doing what I don't want to do in service to the Lord. That came from the idea that we aren't really going out of our way to love others or make Christ our king over ourselves if we end up doing what we want to anyways.
That's all, not going into a big discussion, just wanted to post.
|Sunday, July 22nd, 2007|
Well, I've actually had a request from a reader. Who am I to deny! :D What have I been dong of late? Well, as you might expect, morning thru evening I'm working Mon-Fri. I still enjoy my work. I still have assignments that range all over the place, so I am not getting very familiar with any one program. However, I am doing similar changes so that helps. I still take a couple days at the beginning of each new project to familiarize myself with the program. I do only work with the systems that work with the trains, not the commodities, not the workforce, not other miscellaneous things like fleet information or stuff like that. There was a "good job, we're happy" email that got forwarded to me(that customer has no idea who I am.) That's going in my mid-year review, which is next week. Was supposed to be this past week, but it got delayed. My cube is still fairly bare. I tried to put up the geek hierarchy(http://www.brunching.com/images/geekchartbig.gif
) on my cube-wall, but thumbtacks don't hold up well on it because the backing is too small for them to hold. So, for now, my desk is still occupied by a couple dump prints, sheets of things I need reminders of, a post-it note with my 3-letter initials(JXR, 'X' just to fill the gap) in UNICODE hexadecimal representation(comment if that made any sense :) )...and that's about it. My computer has more personality than my desk; I have it doing a slideshow of my pictures folder for my screensaver. On there I have a few of the fake inspirational pics, screenshots from CoH, and a couple other stuff. No family pics anywhere; I don't really have any except what I keep in my photo album and in one collage-frame. That, and I just don't get many pictures. I have an SLR that I don't work like a pro, so I don't take it many places and rarely get photos of my own. People don't send me photos that I'm in. So, my photo collection is mostly old. It'd be nice to put up a few things. I have a bowl thingy for candies--something several others do, and I just make sure I don't put anything there I want to eat. :)
I think I said something about this before, but I got a roleplaying group together! I am very happy about that. I now have 5 players(-1, +another), and we had our first real session last week. The session before that was char gen, and the three before that were the intro mission with pre-made sketchy characters. I am EXTREMELY excited about this group. I have 3 men, 2 women; 2 experience, 3 complete beginners. All 5 are roleplaying skillfully considering their individual exposures, and 4 of the 5 have come up with good character backgrounds, despite the unfamiliar setting. This group has great potential. The only problem is only being able to play every 3 weeks. One interesting thing about the group is the composition of PCs. Before the late addition, I had 2 fighter-types and 2 fighter/mage-types(Leader, Bashkar, Paladin, and Beastmaster for those few in the know.) The last player picked a pure magic-user(Conjurer.) Even though some clues were spoken out loud at the first session, I don't the think the players realize that a few of their stories/skills intersect. There may be even more, I haven't thought deeper and who knows where the players will take the characters. (Course, 2 of my players read this, so I just affected things...oops. :) ) I've been having more fun on EVE lately than CoH. gag, I HATED saying that. I love CoH. But that change they did to the graphics back in Issue 8 really screwed over my lead speed. I don't have consistently playing friends on CoH, but 4 RL friends on EVE. Even though nothing in particular has changed on EVE, I find that I am having more fun. It might be the mechanism of character advancement--with less time to play CoH and more soloing, I'm not leveling at a decent pace, but on EVE I don't have to worry about that. I should get a screenshot or two of EVE for my backgrounds. I have beaten Guitar Hero I and II on medium now, and finally gotten Waka's ultimate weapon unlocked in FFX, though I haven't really played it since then. I would like to beat it.
I bought a new bicycle. Well, new to me, and way more of a bike than any I've ever owned. A Trek 820(I know, doesn't mean much to me either, but the enthusiasts like it) for $100 off of craigslist. Valerie got me several items for my bike for my birthday. I took the bike out for a ride yesterday. Let me say this again about Nebraska--windy doesn't even begin to describe it. I thought there was a side wind, or maybe even heading into a slight wind on the way out. Hah, no....biking back was like swimming through mud! Nebraska's wind is crazy constant, are rarely light. I'm pretty sure I had biked out more than I had originally intended. I'm not sure; things weren't as obviously marked as I had expected, or I'm more oblivious. It was good to get out there and feel my new bike, get some speed under me in an environment I felt safe to do so. It'd been much more fun if I hadn't been alone, but oh well. For Valerie's birthday I got her 2 CDs because her own music collection had been seriously shrunken and had been listening to the same CD over and over and over.... Without Hodges's help, it would have probably only been one good cd, but he remembered one of the blues artists he and Val were discussing when we were at McNally's on my last trip. He insisted I don't tell her, but I did. ;) Don't worry, John, she still seemed to give me the credit, lol.
Next week I go down to Columbia again. My miles are going to climb on that car fast; very glad I get 35-37 mpg and the car is in good shape. Might not be taking it on this trip anyways, but they'll be plenty more coming, at least 22 by rough count. I'm very excited for the trip. That's a pretty good summary of what's going on these days: trips, roleplaying goodness, church meetings, and phone calls, lots of time on the phone.
|Wednesday, June 27th, 2007|
|Learning to Accept Grace
I've been meaning to write this for a while. Call it an update, hopefully-inspirational, idle chatter, whatever you want. Funny I should write this today, as I'm still in my "Blogito, ergo sum" shirt from the gym.
I'd say from the time I moved up here to Omaha until late April/early May I was not accepting God's Grace/forgiveness well. If I was being lazy about reading my Bible or had been sinning in any particularly heavy-in-my-conscience way for the few days leading up to Saturday, I wouldn't go to church. I would (usually) repent, strive to change, but I would really feel unfit to go to church. At first I was just telling myself I wanted to stay in that night, or that I was tired. But later I realized that I felt unworthy. (Well, that is true, none of us are worthy, but love isn't to be justified.)
I didn't take note, but I think I became aware of that at the same time I got better. I started remembering, "God *forgives* you of your transgressions. Do not hang your head in guilt, but lift it high in gratefulness and repentance." No re-occurences since. And, maybe through that, I grew in desire to praise and worship and follow God. I kinda mentioned something about that a while back.
Life is a ton easier when you are focused on what you have, your compassion, and on how you can grow. When you realize that what seems like bad is just good in disguise or coming. Wished everyone had that kind of faith.
|Tuesday, June 26th, 2007|
|because I haven't posted one in a long time...A-Z quiz
The A-Z of my life:
[A] - AVAILABLE
for dating? No. For math help? Yes.
[B] - BIRTHDAY:
July 15,1975. know it, learn it, love it. ;) j/k
[C] - CONFUSED ABOUT:
how you can live with someone for years, and somehow have experienced 2 completely seperate things.
[D] - DRINK YOU LAST HAD:
[E] - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO:
Brian Holt, John Hodges, John Drage
[F] - FAVORITE MUSIC GROUP/BAND:
[G] - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS:
um, worms, but not like there is much of a difference
[H] - HOMETOWN:
I went to hs in Lebanon Missouri, but that hasn't been home for over a decade. Right now, the heart calls Columbia Missouri home.
[I] - INSTRUMENT:
can't play a thing
[J] - Juice
orange pineapple banana
[K] - KILLED SOMEONE
could someone not think of a more off-the-wall 'K'? How about, "Ketchup goes on...."
[L] - LONGEST CAR RIDE:
Columbia, MO to Miami Beach, FL. 26hrs, straight through.
[M] - MILKSHAKE FLAVOR:
[N] - NUMBER OF PETS:
1, horse--Adios Amigo
[O] - ONE WISH:
see, that's a creative use of the letter 'O'. My greatest wish/prayer is to have a great spouse serving God beside me for another 50+ yrs, till I expire.
P] - PERSON WHO KISSED YOU LAST:
[Q] - QUIET OR LOUD:
oh i'm definitely loud(unchanged from Vanessa's)
[R] - REASONS TO SMILE:
friends(again, good one, Vanessa!)
[S] - SINGLE:
[T] - TIME YOU WOKE UP:
[U] - UNDERWEAR COLOR:
[V] - VIOLENT:
seeing family threatened
[W] - WORST HABIT:
I'll let you tell me, what is it? No, really, tell me.
[X] - X-RAYS:
ah, once. Maybe when I was 6months, I don't remember.
[Y] - YOUR FAVORITE ANIMAL:
[Z] - ZODIAC SIGN: